Well the usual pests are in my garden. There are insects, like the worm in the picture on the right. I can be as tyrannical with these pests as I wish. Although mustard gas, fire bombing and machine gunning the VZ (Vegetable Zone) all come to mind as ways to destroy the infesting freeloaders, I generally just pick them off with chop sticks and throw them to the birds.
Other pests of course include cats. Cats are a nuisance on a number of levels, but mainly the ones I am concerned with are on the unsanitary side of things. The lady that lived here before likely had a numerous pride, and fed the local cats as well. Which of course turns the flower and garden beds into toilets and mating grounds. I'm sure you can imagine my joy in having to deal with numerous specimens of a species I am already on the fence about. You know what they say; all cats suck, but your own. Especially when the cats dig up your freshly mulched beds to make a little kitty deposit, or back up to you potatoes to let the other toms who's turf it is. Of course, I am a softy, sort of, so my methods of control rely heavily on scare tactics and non-lethal barrages of whatever I am holding at the time I spot the feline felons. Well even my hatred of the second most popular pet in America cannot stop me from enjoying the innocence of their young. Playing in the sun, napping, and even running off when I try to take pictures of them. Enter, the long lens.
However, the most disturbing pest was the 80+ year old non-English speaking woman my wife found picking tomatoes out of our garden Friday afternoon. It was an unnerving phone call, and I of course told her to take the tomatoes away from the elderly thief, but she refused. So, after referring to the manual, I did what would any iron-fisted tyrant should do, called the police! No, I didn't want them to take the tomatoes away from her after they used pepper spray, but before they cuffed and booked her, I just wanted to make sure they told whoever she lived with the scene, and to look out for her a little better. I don't want to have strangers in my backyard, especially when I can't use a hammer or a mortar round to get them out. I need to polish up on my Spanish. Es la bandita!
Luckily these were not taken. I would gladly share with the old bird, but I'm not having her traipse around in the garden. What if she falls?!? I even gave the nice police lady a couple Golden Jubilees I had on the counter. She was nice enough to bring me a couple of nice Japanese Eggplants from her garden. Stir fry tonight. Soon my own eggplants will be in full production. I have already picked one, and more should be coming in the next two weeks.
5 comments:
Dont be afraid to us the water gun on anything in your back yard!
:)
Patrick --
Really enjoyed meeting you last night at James's place. I've just started my own garden blog this morning (Rousseau's Garden)and I'm getting more and more excited about getting started. I think this weekend SB and I are going to dig the terraces and I'm going to start on the wall. Depending on how things go, I may try to condition the soil and *maybe* try a small fall crop. We'll see.
Anyway, good luck with yours (it looks great) and I'll see you around.
By the way, I still very much recommend you check out Food and Wine Magazine. I'm sure you'll dig it.
- John
Next time the old bag comes around, put a candybar on the end of a string on the end of a stick and ride her back to her house. That's HILARIOUS!
And by the way...My tomato plant is budding out the WAZOO right now!!!! I'm getting very excited. I even had to tie it up b/c it couldn't hold its bucksome beauty-ness up anymore. Hooray!!
The Big E
And they also say about cats:
"Kids are for people who can't have cats."
Therefor the situation you're in right now. Sorry your lovely wife is allergic...
E
I bet she's the one who owns all those cats too. hee hee hee
I used to grow opium poppies, for ornamental reasons, but someone kept sneaking into my yard to harvest the sap. I finally ripped them all out. A sad day. One of my primary suspects was the older asian woman a few doors down. After reading this, I think she might have just made the top of that list.
It is hugely disturbing when someone helps themselves to the fruits of your labor. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I hope the cops frighten her off for good!
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